Saturday, July 12, 2014

happy endings are bullshit


cauchemer

(Rules: uh, obey me. No, seriously. Anyway.

Setting: in and around Skyline Park, close to dusk. It is movie night. There are plenty of people, quite a diverse assortment, picnicking or heading to restaurants or walking back from restaurants. There are food trucks all around too. People have their blankets spread on the grass in front of the movie screen, and kids are skateboarding around the block fountains. Food trucks around include Korean BBQ Tacos and Grilled CheeseWhiz and Everything's Crepe and so on.

Might want to work them closer to the fountains but I can work with anything you lay out there. :D )

Choi

A phone call or text message was all it took to summon Maxine out to play. They'd exchanged phone numbers, as people their age are wont to do after spending an afternoon chilling and doing things they shouldn't in the park. Something to the tune of Hey, there's a movie night at Skyline Park. Let's crash that bitch, there's food trucks. and Maxine said she would be there with bells on.

Sure enough, parked along near the food trucks and big enough to be mistaken for one by the less-than-alert pedestrian, was Maxine Choi's big orange van-- AKA, home. She had found Alicia in the crowd, a text of Where the fuck are you and an answer of some landmark or another helped expedite that process (thank you, technology).

Hey! / Hey. / You want food? / Yeah man, I'm fucking starving.

And that's how they wound up waiting in line at a food truck. Korean BBQ tacos, Maxine insisted. She'd even pay if that's what it took to talk Alicia out of not experiencing that with her. Chili would have waited in line with them, a foxy little black dog that kept close and tight to Maxine's ankles to avoid being stepped on by people in the crowded square.

When food was collected and they were walking back to find a place to watch the movie that was soon (enough) to start, Maxine picked up one of four tacos on her plate and prepared to bite into it. First, though, she posed the question: "So, Elij' told me that he was going to introduce me to some folks." Because Maxine just launched into shit like that, proposed topics casual as a tortoise and happy as a lark. "You know the sort of folks. Do you know them too, though?"

Crunch.

"Shit that's delicious, you need to try it."

Romero

Landmarks are a surefire way for short folks to pick each other out of a crowd when they're close enough to see some distance but not with giants around them. Since that day in the park Alicia has meant to call or text Maxine but life moves fast when you're drunk and high all the time.

She isn't drunk or high when she climbs atop a half-wall to make herself taller that Maxine will see her. When the two girls spy each other the one with the long-long hair waves and clambers back down.

The water bottle Alicia carries into line with her doesn't have water in it but it's metal and what is inside of it sloshes just like water. Occasionally they pass by people who reek of pot smoke. It's summer. If there are rules for outdoor behavior Alicia is going to ignore them.

So they come to walk along and Alicia waits until she's bidden try the thing before she picks up her taco. Until then she masks her reaction to hearing Elijah's name by uncapping and slugging from her bottle.

Crunch.

"Fuck me," she says with her mouth full. "That's amazing." Focus Alicia. Chew and swallow. "I know a few of them, but I don't know where they all hang out other than the bookstore or the park."

Choi

"What, they just hang out at the park? Like, it's their turf and this is West Side Story?"

She grinned, as though she was the funniest thing in the world. She had a sip from Alicia's bottle if it had been offered up, but wasn't carrying anything of the intoxicating sort with her. Well, unless you wanted to call a cigarette of that variety. She had one out and tucked behind her ear. She was going to wait until they were done walking through the crowd before lighting, so she could avoid the fuss that tended to come when you trailed caustic smoke under the noses of many people.

"And right? BBQ and tacos, you can't go wrong." Another crunch, more munching. They neared the fountain, which was kicking up a misting bit of a splash. Maxine was veering toward it for the cooling effect. She was dressed in a pair of khaki-colored cargo shorts and a black tank-top, and a few multi-colored bobby pins held her shaggy short hair back from her forehead.

When she finished swallowing her food, Maxine followed up with a more sincere question. "Does someone own the bookstore, then? What's it called?"

Romero

Alicia has Phobia: Heights and Catlike Balance bc I am an asshole and she also has Concentration IDK if they're applicable or not yet but fyi fyi

Choi

[Deranged Flaw- Panic Attacks]

Romero

It figures she would understand a reference to a musical that came out before either of them were born. If Maxine had referenced anything come out in the last five years she wouldn't have a clue. That isn't the timeline they're living in though. Alicia can laugh at that joke. Maybe laughs harder than she ought to because she's delighted to have understood it.

Alicia is wearing a knee-length black cotton dress printed with pink-and-white flowers. Her shoes are black sandals with leather straps that make her look like she could have been a gladiator a few thousand years ago. Her hair is unrestrained and she wears the strap of her handbag diagonal across her torso.

Of course she shares her booze with Maxine. It's some fizzy vodka cucumber situation that she threw together before she came out here. The ice not yet melted. Vodka is instant liquid courage.

"An Arch Key?" she says. Carefully enunciating each word. "Or Night Owl, I don't know. Some guy named Adam runs it.

Choi

"Adam, huh?" Crunch crunch crunch. "Well I'll be assed if that isn't a forgettable name."

Maxine was memorable, in her eyes, because it was a name that sounded like old lace and probably smelled like Wind Song perfume. She's been told before that it was the kind of name that belonged to a woman who was over six foot tall, as wide as she was tall, regal and imposing. Maxine Choi had laughed through her teeth and insisted that it was the perfect name for her, in that case, and that she should go home and high-five her parents straight away.

Chili trotted along nearby, and as Maxine slowed to a full on stop near the fountain she stooped down to share some of the meat from her taco with the little dog.

"Might have to look into that, then." Once the dog had plucked the meat from Maxine's fingertips, delicate and cautious with just the front teeth in use, the petite and rather androgynous teenager straightened back up. "Y'know, I don't think I ever asked: are you from around the Denver area? Or did you blow in on the wind too?"

cauchemer

The movie-night crowd is pretty diverse. Teenagers acting sullen, parents lugging three 2.4 children and all the trimmings downtown from the 'burbs. Retired couples who are down there in the grass spreading out handmade quilts and unpacking the most exotic delicacies from honest-to-god picnic baskets, the sort with cubbies for honest-to-god crystal wine glasses because do you really want to drink a brilliant Bordeaux on a delicious little Syrah out of plastic? I don't think so.

Kids from the southside, from the projects, from everywhere, spread out, eating, chilling, hooting, flirting, jerking off (okay, maybe not) making out (for sure).

--

Cops are visible at the edges of the crowd, here and there. Just a handful, leaning against the lampposts and the planters, drinking coffee and chatting with strangers and keeping an occasional eye on the crowd to step in in case of pickpockets or - whatever. There's always something, when people mass themselves in hot cities on summer nights.

Always something.

--

And it is indeed, a rather warm night.

Too warm for the trenchcoat the redheaded kid trailing along - not behind them precisely, but parallel - is sporting. That is surely why he's pasty, sweating a bit.

Maxine goes from strolling to a fullstop to share some meat with her little dog and the kid sort of bumps into her, gives her this quick, startled look. "Jesus fuck - " low. "Watch where you're going, bitch."

Romero

That day in the park when Maxine had been lying out in the grass waiting for her drawers to dry they hadn't talked about themselves much. She had wanted to hear about the storm-watching took place beneath the overpass and they had smoked a joint and made fun of the other people in the park and pointed out the clouds and talked about meteorology and how it's so weird and cool that the stars are still up there even though they couldn't see them but there wasn't a lot of biographical information assimilation going on that day.

It was just as well. They reach the fountain and the spray is nice on their bare arms.

She's finishing her first taco when Maxine asks The Question. By now she's used to it. Or she thinks she's used to it. At any rate she doesn't have to answer it. Some ginger in a trench coat is giving Maxine static.

A trench coat. In July. Alicia frowns and stops walking because the kid is giving her maybe-could-be-a friend static. If they were back in D.C. she would have itched for a fight. Now she itches not to draw attention to herself.

"Just ignore him," Alicia says to Maxine in a tone just as low.

[perc + AHAHA SHE DOESN'T HAVE AWARENESS]

Dice: 2 d10 TN6 (5, 9) ( success x 1 )

Choi

[Perception + Awareness: That's okay, Maxine has plenty!]

Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 1, 6, 8, 8) ( success x 3 )

cauchemer

The kid is pale(r) than he should be. Holds that trenchcoat closed tight in a way that just feels wrong. There's something about him, but Alicia cannot quite figure out what it is.

cauchemer

The kid is pale(r) than he should be. Holds that trenchcoat closed tight in a way that just feels wrong. There is the faintest hint of something esoteric about him. It is not strong, more like a lingering malaise, the odor of a woman's perfume long after she has left the room.

Sulfurous.

Something about his belligerence feels both - desperate, and somehow, explosive.

Choi

Maxine hadn't been paying mind to the man in the trenchcoat. She knew full well that people would put up with some intolerable shit for the sake of their fashion choices. She figured, Hey, the boy is pretty damn pale, maybe he's just one of those kids that huddles around a computer finally come out to play for once. She'd dismissed him entirely.

Up until the point that he bumped her, she'd been watching Alicia instead while working on her second taco, waiting to hear where the girl was from if not Denver. When the boy had bumped into her, though, his arm heavy against her shoulder and flank, Maxine had stumbled a step back. She was a slight thing, after all, unprepared for the contact.

More than that, she was unprepared for the presence of the pale red-haired young man. Alicia had told Maxine that she should just ignore him, and Alicia already had a pretty good idea that her newfound friend would probably listen. From what she's seen of the other girl, she didn't have much of a temper, not much violence to her really. But she was bold, that's for certain. She'd blinked and stared at the young man, but the way she stared was interested more than offended. Intrigued. As though she wasn't worried about what she'd heard, but rather what she was seeing.

Her lips had parted some, she realized after a second that her jaw had slipped and mouth was beginning to hang open. She played it off with a bite into her taco, and glanced briefly to her left to meet Alicia's eyes. The gaze was held long enough for Maxine to bounce her eyebrows up and down a few times significantly, then Maxine spoke through the food in her mouth while turning her head to look at the very disgruntled fellow.

"Aye aye, Cap'n. I wasn't moving, but I can see how that was my fault."

Her speech cleared, as she'd swallowed halfway through her sentence. Her head tipped to the side, and she glanced down at the plate of tacos before picking one up and holding it out as an offer. A peace offering, in a sense, but also an offer for trade. A taco for an answer, because she asked while extending her arm: "What are you hiding, Firecracker?"

cauchemer

One of those nights where it feels like the carpet is somehow unrolling beneath your feet and somehow you're just careening forward, gathering momentum, building into - into -

The kid's pallor is the sickly sort and there is sweat enough in his hair and on his skin that it is starting to form its own watershed. Droplets combine to make rivulets that snake down his cheeks, along the side of a rather-sharp nose. His eyes are bloodshot, adam's apple prominent enough that even inobservant Alicia can see it bob as she speaks and draws his attention - direct, full of menace -

- then Maxine pulls it back. He holds the trench closed with his left hand, tight, but the right is free and he lashes out with it at the taco she holds out as an offering with enough force to crack the shell or even send it flying.

Then gives her the finger.

"You should listen to your friend. I said fuck off."

Something dark beneath his nails.

Romero

Maxine waggles her eyebrows. Alicia's eyes go wide.

Yeah. She's weirded out too. She doesn't know what she's supposed to be doing. Still hasn't figured out what she's done in the past that's let her do what she's done in the past. Been terrified and been touching someone else and been drunk or smoking or or or.

Right now her heart is pounding beneath her breastbone and she's tucked in close to Maxine like to tell the world there's two of them. Breathing fast and her fingertips haven't gone numb from the alcohol yet but she's holding the slim canteen in one hand while the other comes to rest on Maxine's shoulder.

"Max," she says in a low pleading voice.

By now it isn't a plea not to get involved. It's a plea to sort out what the hell they're supposed to do. With great power comes great responsibility but their power can barely help them find their way out of a wet paper bag.

[scan time! awyeah! going for life but tack matter and prime and spirit on there too for shits. i like to call this cocktail WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.]

Dice: 1 d10 TN4 (3) ( success x 1 ) [WP]

Choi

The taco was slapped not entirely out of her hand, but it jumped and jerked enough that the contents spilled onto her hand and wrist. It was hot, so she made a quiet curse in a language not English (French, if you bothered to catch or pay mind) and hastily put the rest of the taco back on the plate, then shook her hand out some.

Near her ankles, Chili stood stiffly and bristled black fur along her back. Didn't growl or make a sound, but watched the boy sharp and anxious.

Maxine glanced briefly to Alicia again, then looked back forward. Her eyes nearly crossed as she focused entirely on the finger, on what was caked under his nails. If he was willing to hold that middle finger up for the full five seconds that Maxine was going to take to study it, then so be it, but either way Maxine would ultimately blink, refocus on his face, then shrug and say:

"Fucking off now." She lifted the taco-juiced hand and started to lick the sauce from her wrist and pinky finger as though it were an ice cream cone, and began to walk backward along the fountain's edge, away from the fire-haired and furnace-powered guy.

Her eyes didn't move away from him while she walked. As she went, she spoke quietly-- the sounds would be lost in a crowd, but Alicia was keeping near enough to be able to hear words that sounded old as ages spoken in a voice that was pitched much lower than comfortable speaking. The words sounded like they had the intention of invocation.

[Scanning as well, but with Spirit Sight! Spirit 1, Prime 1 too, I suppose? Focus-- Chanting!]

Dice: 1 d10 TN4 (8) ( success x 1 )

cauchemer

Alicia has a sense of his blood. His heart. His heart, beating. He is: keyed up, alert, consumed by some goddamned passion. Feels like someone about to jump out of an airplane without a parachute, doesn't he? He is also, not precisely whole. His back is covered with snaking scars, a few still raw but healing welts. Other, finer, a latticework over his torso. Razors there, though she does not know it. Just the precision, the webwork of it. The reflected pain.

cauchemer

Whatever he is, whatever is riding this strange boy, Maxine knows assuredly that it is not otherworldly. It is not some driving or driven entity. His rage and his pain and his - whatever is wrong with him, whatever is driving him - is rooted in this world.

Poirot

[Did I sleep okay?]

Dice: 4 d10 TN7 (2, 2, 2, 6) ( fail )

cauchemer

He smiles wide, the kid. There is something lashing about the expression, and it isn't a genuine smile, so much as a showing of teeth. Still, Maxine backs off - fucking off now she says - and that gives him this little dollop of a rush and he breathes out all heady like it is done, like he is -

like he is -

like he is whereever the fuck it is he is going.

Tense as the confrontation between them is, well. No one around them has seemed to notice much.

The red-headed kid turns around, swallows hard, still holding his trenchcoat closed with his left hand, tapping the fingers of his right together with his thumb in a rushed and arrhythmic fashion that betrays his stress.

Surveys the crowd with those bloodshot, shifting eyes.

They all swim past him. Smear past him. They don't even fucking matter. He's looking for the perfect place.

The perfect -

Romero

She doesn't want to weird the kid out. He seems like he's on edge as it is and Maxine is distracted with her chanting. This would be a good enough time to let him keep on walking but whatever her wide-open eyes tell her lashes at her like watching another person take a beating.

Despite the threat of tears ever-present in her life Alicia wears black eyeliner and black mascara. It keeps her from looking the sort of tired that party girls tend to look after too many days in a row without proper sleep or nutrition. Keeps her from looking sad. It's a paradox. Black is known to be a sad color.

As Maxine busies herself with her chanting Alicia fumbles for something else to help him. She doesn't know this kid. Just that he feels like a fatal leap about to happen.

"Hey," she says. Tension in her tone makes it clear she's trying to snag his attention. This is how people get stabbed or shot. Alicia is still a kid. All her father ever taught her to do was run away. She tosses a glance at Maxine before she takes a couple quick steps forward and puts her hand on the redhead's shoulder. "Wait a second?"

[extending that ish. trying to pick up matter/prime this time. +1 diff for the extending. DON'T MAKE ME REGRET NOT SPENDING WP KID.]

Dice: 1 d10 TN5 (4) ( fail )

Poirot

"Quit moping," Jenn said.

It was true, Elijah Poirot had been moping, and a mopey Elijah is about as sad as a sad circus lion- something nobody wants to pay to see, but is ultimately entertaining because it's ever so productive and willing to bite things. Having succeeded in avoiding his job for the last three days (it turns out, he found, that you really can call in crazy to work, but we digress), Elijah felt the need to celebrate with a free movie (because poor) and Korean barbecue tacos (because he probably won't live long enough to regret what this is going to do to his stomach lining).

Last night, the water poured in to a hospital room. Things floated up and orderlies passed by. Never had he wanted a room mate worse than at that juncture, but the water poured in and his body, like stone, failed to float. His mind wandered until-

"Hey, she's here!"

"Huh?"

"Alicia, go talk to her," Jenn said with a shove.

"Wha-huh, no!" Elijah, however, couldn't exactly get away from the shove. Jenn's attention flickered to a cute blonde down the way who had been staring at her tattoos for the past fifteen minutes.

"Uh, yeah, no, you've been blowing up her phone go talk to her. You're a useless wingman when you sleep shitty, now go," Jenn pulled him down to her level and kissed him on the cheek in much the same way you would a brother.

"Ugh, fine," now, he had to try and not sound excited. Jenn shoved again and ran off to go talk to someone else.

Which left Elijah to go approach the retreating Maxine and the person he'd not been able to get ahold of the past few days.

"Yo, Maxiiiiiiine," kind of like Adriane, but less Stalone.

Poirot

[Awareness, -1]

Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 2, 2, 7, 8) ( success x 2 )

cauchemer

The red-headed kid is pale(r) than he should be. Holds that trenchcoat closed tight in a way that just feels wrong. There is the faintest hint of something esoteric about him. It is not strong, more like a lingering malaise, the odor of a woman's perfume long after she has left the room.

Sulfurous.

Choi

Alicia had asked Maxine to ignore the boy, but the moment that she'd begun to back off, to watch the boy and see what he did, her companion stepped forward in her darling dress with her darling hair and asked so-sweetly, so concerned for him to hold on, to wait. Maxine herself flicked her eyes toward Alicia, furrowed her brow just the tiniest bit, and looked back to the red-haired man again.

She had her jaw set in a way that jutted her chin out. Chili was staring down the man, untrusting.

Maxine had taken a breath and stopped her backward meander, apparently unwilling to just keep ambling away while her friend stepped forward instead. She'd sucked in a breath and was perhaps about to say something, but then her name rolled its way over the crowd in a drawling half-heareted impersonation. The petite Korean with the short choppy hair, all bobby-pinned up, held that breath and looked around with quick sweeping scans of the eye.

Elijah was tall, distinct of face, easy to pick out of the crowd. Maxine answered by baring teeth in a wide grin, but the expression didn't really reach her eyes so it looked more like a simple baring of teeth and not much else-- strained instead of joyous. Something about how she jerked her gaze back to the man clutching his coat closed, how she looked at him with eyes widening and jaw tightening still, suggested that she was in the middle of something and Elijah's hailing had distracted her.

Still, she kept that chanting under her breath, ended the old language on a single note that was low and deep enough that it vanished in the din of the crowd. You could only hear it if you were close enough to feel its bass.

[Extending the scan-- +1 diff to extend, +1 diff for distracted]

Dice: 1 d10 TN6 (9) ( success x 1 )

cauchemer

Maxine: The magic continues; wraps her vision, warps her vision, from spirit to the flesh, to the substance of the universe, the bright web of energy from which everything else must be formed.

What she sees around the young man are no more than remnants. He has been around magick. He has been around Willworkers. There is nothing, now, that binds him. It is all wrapped around him, warped around him, like the filaments of a broken web. The only piece of it she understands for a certainty is the manipulation of time. That is the smallest part. Whatever else: was stronger, more enduring, but those are magicks beyond her ken. Still, the hint of sulpher and something else, harder to know or define.

cauchemer

Everything. Everything. He is letting himself slide into the moment, feeling it become all glassy. Why does every heart beat seem like a new goddamned universe when we are poised on the edge of -

Then Alicia touches him.

Hey. What a second -

The kid was staring at the step-blocked fountain. He was going to climb it, water and all, he can already feel himself rising, he's imagining the moment when everyone starts whispering, when the crowd begins to ripple with rumors and strangers start turning and but someone's touching him and he wheels on Alicia,

furiously

forgets to hold the trench closed and lets go because he wants both fucking hands free to shove her and that's what he does.

He wants to send her sprawling.

--

The trench is buttoned, mind. But enough of it opens up that Maxine, Elijah, and Alicia can all see the explosives in the vest he wears beneath it. Thin wires snaking out of all the pockets, taped together to go up his sleeve and down to a detonator taped on the inside of his left wrist.

--

"Don't TOUCH me."

[Action: Shove Alicia!]

Dice: 3 d10 TN6 (3, 5, 5) ( fail )

Romero

Alicia has the same reaction most people would have to being in the midst of a pleasant evening only to have danger come rushing up to meet them. She's survived enough close calls in her young life that one would think she'd be an old hat by now.

One person in this crowd knows she has callouses on her hands not from playing too many video games or from working outside. Bone and skin have rubbed the meat between them to form a hardness where her hands gripped a pistol once. More than once. They're fading after two months without lessons but Alicia knows how to fire a gun.

Doesn't mean she knows how not to freeze when she sees a kid trying to climb his ass on up onto a fountain and do fuck knows what once he's up there. He tries to shove her and all he does is make her stumble.

Stumble and freeze and tunnel everything else around her so the only part of her brain functioning is the part of her brain wired into the rest of reality. She's scared out of her mind but it doesn't occur to her to run. Just to stand in place and plead with him.

Her voice is shrill with fear but not loud.

"Then WAIT A SECOND."

Poirot

He couldn't think far enough ahead to think to tell Jenn to run. The kid is too pale, had a smell about him like sulphur and it made Elijah's stomach turn- perhaps because of a memory or perhaps because of the knowledge of something else entirely. He doesn't know enough about explosives to know how much is there, but he knows enough to know that it is just enough to make a point.

And isn't that what people want? To make a point?

There are things Elijah knows. He knows that he is not explosion proof. He knows that Alicia and Maxine are still in explode-right-now range and he does not particularly like the concept of his friends being splattered everywhere. So, he does what any sane person could do, he dials 911 and waits. Waits as long as his mind will let him wait until he can hear that familiar what's your emergency question. He just waits until there isn't dead air and ringing before blurting - "there'sabombatskypark"- and shoving his phone inside of his vest pocket.

"Oh, shit," he curses, and Elijah makes his way to bridge the gap between the people there about as quickly as he could because this wasn't going to end well. No, no this was not going to end well at all.

Choi

[Well, I for one don't like being exploded: Rolling WP, diff seven 'cause BOMB!]

Dice: 4 d10 TN7 (2, 3, 9, 10) ( success x 2 )

Choi

What Maxine saw happen occurred in different spectrums behind her eyes. She could see the physical happening-- see the bodies move, see the boy turn toward the fountain and grab the ledge on the lower level of stacks as though to pull him up. She could see Alicia reach for him only for him to twist about and pull his arms back in toward his chest. She watched him piston them forward as though with every intent to blast Alicia backward with the sheer force of his hate and insistence not to be touched. She watched weak-wrists and arms that she guessed to be skinny in those coat sleeves fail to even budge the girl.

She also saw another side of things, too. Maxine's pupils widened, took in so much more than what others could see. The low, undulating note that warbled and wavered in her throat and chest sent a frequency out, created ripples so that she could see what bounced back. It peeled and crumbled the Sleep from her eyes, and let the Light shine on through. She could see how that Light fizzled and refracted off the man, could see how a different but tied-in current warped and broke from its standard flow around him too-- like a rock in a smooth flowing stream disturbing the current.

While she may have fallen forward into the brilliant warmth of the Light That Made The World, she could still see the physical. So the explosives strapped to the man under that trench didn't go missed at all.

Her heart slammed in her chest, slammed in her ears and head and kicked her back away from the Light, caused her to blink her eyes and shift her focus back forward and onto the scene at hand. Sensing the disturbance and tension in the air, Chili yapped three times sharply before Maxine silenced the dog with a quick crouch and hand closing over the animal's muzzle to hold jaws closed. "Tssst!," was the sharp hushing sound that she made for the animal.

Elijah had seen too, she noticed. He was headed over quickly, cutting and pushing his way through the crowd-- a crowd so heavily drowsy with their own Slumber that they hadn't even noticed anything going on. She licked her lips and set the plate of tacos down on the fountain ledge, then stepped forward to be beside Alicia again. Didn't reach out to grab her shoulder or wrist or hand, but shoved her own hands into her pockets and set a look of what seemed to be disappointment (but had panic, threading and sharp as a needle-sewing-seam shining hard underneath) onto the man.

"Hey," she added, "so I promised to fuck off, but I can't now, sorry. But hey, man, what happened, huh? Who fucked with you?"

cauchemer

Do-di-do.

Dice: 3 d10 TN5 (3, 4, 6) ( success x 2 ) [WP]

cauchemer

"What!" The kid, explosive (hah!) snaps wildly at Alicia, all frustrated menace, all some goddamned thing.

There's a fever pitch to his frustration, a wild edge that she can still taste, where she feels his heart beating, wildly, as if it were right in the back of his throat. "What the fuck does your worthless fucking ass think you fucking want you stupid fucking bitch - "

His arms swing wide open, this great predatory sweep giving presence and immediacy by the dark weight of that trench coat he sports and he looks right at Alicia then sideglances right at Maxine with a distinction that marks them both out even as Maxine sees and sees and puts down her damned tacos and turns back to him -

Those wide-flung arms though, leave him scrabbling, like he's lost hold of something he needs right now, and he is patting the edges of the sleeves, mutting nothing that makes sense, when Maxine addresses him and he snaps, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You don't know shit. No one does. I'm gonna show you all.

"I'm gonna show all of you."

--

Meanwhile, Elijah makes a call. Connects with 911. Reports what he reports to the people to whom one reports such things and not long after (heartbeats?) the edges of crowd are shifting. The cops who were drinking coffee and chatting up locals are talking into those little radios they wear on their shoulders and craning their heads, searching through the dusk and dark for any signs of disturbance.

Romero

[perc + ahaha]

Dice: 2 d10 TN6 (2, 5) ( fail )

Choi

[Perception 3 + Awareness 3]

Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (2, 4, 7, 7, 8, 9) ( success x 4 )

Poirot

{per+aware-1]

Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (1, 3, 3, 3, 6, 7) ( success x 2 )

cauchemer

Something around the kid: sulfurous, transcendent, molten but not of him. Sharp and sudden in the air. She does not know and cannot tell where it is coming from, but it tastes like the threads of old work she Saw.

cauchemer

Something around the kid: sulfurous, transcendent, molten but not of him. Sharp and sudden in the air.

Romero

The word 'fuck' like all spices has to go into a dish with a delicate hand or else it loses its effect. Maybe he would have had her at 'worthless fucking ass' because there aren't a whole lot of insults worse than this to say to a young adult but he keeps on going and Alicia looks like she pities him.

Pity won't stop him from blowing her up along with everyone else in here. She believes the world will go on without her though. It's gone on without plenty of other people.

"Show us what?" she asks in a voice brimming with tears same as her eyes brim. Makes it hard to talk. "How the FUCK are you gonna show anybody ANYTHING if all you do is HURT THEM?"

Okay now she's getting loud. He's scrabbling. She saw the detonator on his wrist. She tries to grab his other wrist so he can't press the thing without getting creative. Maybe hitting out at her will buy them enough time for the police to pull their heads out of their asses and nobody will get hurt.

Brilliant, Alicia.

Choi

[Well, I know what I see, but what does it mean?: Intelligence 4 (Will let ST decide if Mind Wide Open specialty applies) + Enigmas 2]

Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9) ( success x 3 )

cauchemer

what she feels now is resonance: the distinctive resonance of a willworker working his or her will. three notes she can taste in the back of her throat, centered on that kid, yeah. And no one within the area feels like that to maxine, but somehow that Work is still happening, here and now, right in front of her. the spheres: are spheres she does not know.

Poirot

Elijah hadn't hung up the phone yet. Sure, it was in his pocket. Sure, he wasn't certain if the operator was still there, but the edges of the crowd for the police were starting to move and he found that despite himself he wanted to be a lot more calm than he actually was. Maybe it was because he'd dreamed something horrible, maybe because he heard every morning since he was sixteen to live, live because tomorrow he would die and this? It looked like tomorrow was showing up and god dammit his knees wanted to give and he wanted to throw up but Christ this was a rush.

"Whoa, whoa dude, I get you wanna teach everyone a lesson but calm the fuck down if you want to do it… you're in a freaking fountain fighting with people in a trench coat."

There was a purpose in that. He had his cell phone in his pocket. he hadn't hung up with 911 just yet. If he said it loudly enough and clearly enough maybe the police would get the picture or someone would relay that little tidbit of information.

Romero

[dex + lol alicia what are you doing]

Dice: 2 d10 TN6 (5, 7) ( success x 2 ) [WP]

Choi

Soon enough Elijah was by their side as well. Three teenagers, possibly four if you counted the red-haired man (Maxine wasn't confident on his age, but he could be 19 as well) stood together by the fountain with something as serious as a public bombing and massacre on their hands. Alicia was very focused on the here and now, the possibility of the boy getting a hold of that trigger again and following through with his crazed plan to show them all.

Elijah was talking to the boy, asking him to calm down. Alicia had surged forward to try and grapple the boy's wrists, and Maxine's lithe frame went tight beside her. The boyish girl didn't move to stop her friend, barely even turned to acknowledge that another had joined them.

Rather, she stared at the man in the trench coat, not with the pity that Alicia carried, not with heavy fear that would glue her attention onto him with a primal need to track her death every step of its way to greet her. She wasn't even looking at him to hear and accept the words that he shouted at her. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know shit.

Oh, but Maxine did know shit, didn't she? She was watching the air around him, seeing something fizzling and crackling, incredibly atune to the ebb and flow of Light and the Power it carried and All It Created even if she didn't have the skill to reach out and touch and mold and bend any of it (yet). But she was smart, incredibly so. It was frankly astonishing the brain power in this girl, considering how little of it she tended to let on. Yet, if anyone were able to take a second to look into her face (and let's face it, that second wasn't available), they would see the gears spinning fast and efficient like a well-created and maintained machine.

She twisted her head to look around, as though searching for someone. Her brow furrowed, and she looked up to the sky, then back down to the conflict happening in front of her.

"Puppet," she said quietly at first. Then, again, louder, for Alicia and Elijah and even the young man to hear: "Oh those tendons and those fuses, they're just strings. But who, oh who, is pulling them? And from where? From when?"

cauchemer

do di do.

Dice: 3 d10 TN5 (3, 7, 9) ( success x 3 ) [WP]

cauchemer

The kid is fixated on Alicia, pupils sharp and narrowing. Sneering a bit when he sees her tears. Christ, of course she's crying.

"How the fuck do you think anyone ever learns anything. How else is anyone going to wake the fuck up to what is really going on in the world - look at these fucking jackasses - "

And he is really starting to get going on this tangent when Alicia grabs his wrist and he jerks it back and jerks it hard snarling because now he knows what the fuck this stupid little girl is trying to do and he's caught between one edge and another, this great, swinging pendulum and she's crying and there are tears in his eyes too and he

hates

hates

hates

"LET ME GO."

Snarling. Spittle frothing on his mouth, jerking his arm to try to get it out of Alicia's grasp, contorting his other hand trying to reach for, reach for, reach for the detonator. Something, he catches something with the crook of his pinky, all awkward, and starts edging it awkwardly into his grasp.

--

The kid is ignoring Elijah. Ignoring him, hardly notices Elijah trying to "calm him down" heh heh heh. At the fringes of the crowd, though, the word is going out and there is more focused movement. Elijah can hear the feedback of a transmitter, that crackle-crackle-hush of dispatch. The crowd is starting to thin around them. Not panic, yet, no. No one is telling people exactly why they are being asked to leave the plaza, just that they are and they should do it quietly please ma'am and thank you.

--

For Maxine, that sense of magick, the threads of it, only gets stronger, tangled all around the kid.

(Kid: Jerk free!)

Dice: 3 d10 TN6 (4, 5, 8) ( success x 2 ) [WP]

Poirot

Nope. He didn't much care for the fact that the kid had an arm free and he couldn't quite remember where the detonator was, but he knew that this was a bad, bad idea. He didn't want anyone to get blown up and the crowd was thinning and that seemed to be a good enough plan, yes?

the first thought was omgtackle, but then, in a moment of brilliance, something told him that tackling something or someone with an explosive vest on was not at all like it was in the movies and those things probably explode a lot easier than they look- and they look like they exploded pretty easily- so, plan B (the much safer option, considering) was to counter the man jerking away with an equally awkward attempt at grappling.

"Fuck!"

Poirot

[faaaaahk! dex+brawl, -1, +wp]

Dice: 2 d10 TN6 (4, 5) ( success x 1 ) [WP]

Romero

[jesus christ elijah

prime 1: watch the weaving. -1 quint to lower diff.]

Dice: 1 d10 TN3 (1) ( fail )

Romero

[backlash unless liz wants to do the honors]

Dice: 1 d10 TN6 (1) ( fail )

Romero

[HAH SUCK IT REALITY]

Romero

This is the part where Alicia does as much as she can do and then as much as she can do isn't good enough. She's actually crying now instead of just shining with the threat of crying and it doesn't get any better when the kid yanks his wrist out of her hand and Elijah comes running forward to grab the kid.

"ELIJAH!" she says and her voice is a rung alarm. She steps back then. What the fuck is she supposed to do she doesn't know what's going on where the fuck is -

"Max, what are you talking about, I don't..."

Choi

[Prime 1-- Watch the Weaving, oh yes watch, Song as focus]

Dice: 1 d10 TN4 (6) ( success x 1 )

Choi

[Correction! Runes as focus.]

cauchemer

She sees the threads of Work. She does not know the spheres, but she can see them in action: not on the boy, no. Not on the kid at all. But: in the air, and on the wires leading to the detonator. She does not know enough about the spheres to know what is happening, but she understands that the work is both immediate and small and supple, performed from some great-distance, and close-to-complete.

Choi

[Willpower, oh Maxine you can do this toots.]

Dice: 4 d10 TN8 (2, 7, 9, 9) ( success x 2 )

Choi

Max, Maxine, Maxamillion, Miss Choi Are You Paying Attention?

Maxine had refocused to the sky. She was watching something that others can't see, making a proper loony bin of herself while people began to take notice of the struggle. Her eyes were as wide as she could get them, and her hands crept out of her pockets and dragged arms behind them as though independently climbing toward the heavens.

As she did this, she hummed that note again. Her fingers were curled around a pair of small stones, clenched into a small fist while the other hand was splayed with open fingers. None could see, but on those stones were carved and then inked black runes as old as the words she'd uttered before.

"There's someone, something, and They're calling the shots. Not this--"

But then she froze. Previously she'd been rolling the stones in her fist, blatantly ignoring the spectacle she was making of her strange behavior. Her eyes had trailed from the sky down to the man again, landed on his chest, and then found themselves sharpened by not fear, but realization, and then panic. The need to race away, to run, to cover her head and go flashed clear as day in her eyes and her face, her limbs locked in terror like she was a deer in the headlights just for a hanging second and then--

"It's going to blow." She looks to the two, drops her arms down and crouches to drag Chili hastily up to her chest. "RUN!" This, she screams for her friends.

"IT'S A BOMB IT'S GOING TO BLOW RUN AWAY GO!"

This, screamed for everyone else around, as she heeds her own advice.

cauchemer

do-di-do.

Dice: 3 d10 TN5 (5, 7, 9) ( success x 4 ) [WP]

cauchemer

Alicia is holding on as much as she can, openly crying now, but the kid jerks himself free and Elijah grabs for him instead. The gesture - well, the necessary effort means that the leadwire of the the detonator he was trying to edge up into his grasp slips a bit and -

The cops are closer. Elijah senses one behind him - the presence of a solid human body. Alicia and Maxine can see him - a tall African-American guy, with one of those physiques that has a solid layer of well-earned fat over a solid layer of muscle won by hard physical work not reps in the gym. The officer puts a hand on Elijah's shoulder and he smells of coffee and Old Spice and his voice is all rumbly as he says, quietly, calmly,

"It's alright son. You did well. We'll take it from here."

That's his left hand on Elijah's shoulder. The right has his service weapon drawn, and trained on the redheaded kid.

--

And that, is exactly when Maxine shouts, screams -

IT'S A BOMB IT'S GOING TO BLOW RUN AWAY!

--

There's so much happening all at once. The milling crowd - people were starting to get interested, some were being steered quietly away by police, but there's no more quiet. People turn and look and start to run. To stampede.

The kid takes advantage of the shifting momentum (they are buffeted by panic on all sides) to well and definitively jerk his arm out of Elijah's grasp this time and that officer is still training his service weapon on the redheaded kid and his partner is back further, now beating ineffectually against the movement of people in the other direction, in some direction, in any direction at all and Maxine and Elijah have two, three, four fractional seconds to start to run, if they intend to run -

Choi

Precious companion hugged to her chest with one arm, the second arm pumping along with slim legs in loose shorts, Maxine ran for her dear life.

Poirot

Turn around and run. Now.

Romero

Alicia backs away and she keeps backing away but she doesn't turn and run. She turns her head and just enough to see that Maxine and Elijah are running and she lets out a breath she hadn't known she was holding when she sees them run. Gratitude to a deity or deities in which she does not believe and then she swipes the back of her hand across one cheek to clear the saltwater.

cauchemer

- so they run. Join the tumult of strangers, also running, in every direction as the tumult rises all around them and over them and the kid is triumphant but they don't see the moment of triumph on his face, don't see the way he casually reaches down and unbuttons the trench coat to show off the vest he made. Fishing vest he bought at REI, that's the base for the whole goddamned thing.

He's smiling, the kid, strangely calm, still seating unphased by the gun leveled at him and unphased by the police officer who stands and holds it leveled even as the explosives are revealed, unphased by the panic and the screams and the way rumor rolls like a wave all around then, absolutely unphased.

And now he has access to the detonator, now he can take his sweet time. The officer is talking to him, all calm, see, trying to talk him down and the kid's smiling at him in this way that will, in the aftermath, seem eerie, but in the moment the officer thinks seems rather hopeful, like maybe he's getting through to the kid, but -

no

The kid gets the detonator in hand.

Squeezes it with his thumb.

Closes his eyes, like he's on the side of the angels now.

- and click clickclickclick

(nothing happens. nothing happens! nothing happens.)

"YOU. FUCKING. BITCH."

--

This part Elijah and Maxine and Alicia miss. The kid reaching for a weapon. The officer sort of tackling him. Precision tackling, like a linebacker launching himself at one of those practice linemen, deep and low, see, going for the legs rather than the chest, stopping the kid from getting the gun out of his fucking pants, what a stupid place to keep it. The other police sweeping in, somehow turning that heedless flight into something, well, manageable. Sending the running people running right, shielding them, fanning out, a wide net, looking for more: more bombs, more shooters, more strangers.

Needless to say: the movie will be canceled tonight. Ambulances come. There are people who were injured in the flight, none seriously. The bomb squad comes, too, to remove the vest from the kid and so on. This aftermath is to be glimpsed only from a distances, framed by the smearing lights of ambulances and police cars and fire trucks, which will distort the night until the wee hours of the morning, and then some, long after the redheaded kid arrested, folded into a police car, and driven away.

Choi

Maxine had raced away, but heard the screaming of frustration and rage and the distinct lack of an explosion. She twisted to look back, stumbled, and reached out to grasp some part of Elijah-- arm, shirt, belt, whatever was within reach-- to haul him back as well. Her footsteps went heavy and trotted her to a stop, even if she was buffeted tremendously by the bodies that rushed away around her. Chili was disgruntled but knew not to take the risk of finding the ground-- she'd surely be trampled. Maxine kept her cinched in to her chest with the one arm.

Eyes swam through gaps in the crowd, found Alicia's hair and dress nearer to the scene, saw her intact. She'd ride out the crowd's rush away until it abated enough for her to try and call Alicia over, to get Elijah to help if she could.

After that, the evening simply had to be over. Maxine said aloud: "Nothing tonight should top that, I'm scared that something might try if I push it." So, after making sure that the others were okay, or at least able to tend to one another's requirements for comfort, Maxine would duck away. After that, she frankly just wanted to get to her van and drive away.

Poirot

It hits him when he's running that he doesn't see Alicia. Oh fuck, oh fuck, he doesn't see Alicia and he turns to look for her. His instincts are telling him to run but he doesn't know where Max went, he doesn't know where Alicia went and his mind was reeling and oh god, oh god, oh god this was all going to blow. This was going to go up in smoke. And then?

Nothing.

He was in the crowds, and in the med and disaster of others, he was in his element. Amidst that tumultuous mess of people, he was at home. Not at ease, because when was home ever an easy place to be? But he caught a feeling of a hand on his belt, and he turned to see Maxine. He took her hand and weaved through in hopes of finding Alicia. Eventually, hopefully, he does.

"Hey," it's all he can really say, accompanied with a laugh that borders on mild hysteria because-well- we just saw why.

Only at this juncture does Elijah have the presence of mind to hang up his damned phone.

Romero

The last time someone told her to run she hadn't wanted to run. Maybe in her dreams she doesn't run. Maybe if she could go back in time and do it again she wouldn't have. But Alicia can't go anywhere in time but where she is at present and if she dreams at night she doesn't remember them when she wakes up only sees the white ghosts of salt dried on her bottom lids staring at her in the mirror.

She doesn't know exactly how far away she has to be to be out of the blast zone but she backs up what she thinks is maybe enough. She knows there isn't just one zone. Shrapnel does more damage to bystanders than the detonation itself. That much she knows. She knows she's near enough to hear the kid call her a bitch but she doesn't feel anything when he does it. Later she will but she doesn't know that. All she wants to do now is go back to her motel room and sleep.

Maxine and Elijah ran. Alicia stands watching until the kid is on the ground and then she walks away from the fountain and away from where they went. She is short. She can slip away into a crowd when she wants to.

This doesn't feel like a happy ending but Alicia's starting to get the idea that happy endings are bullshit.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

middle-of-the-week-night


Dan

It is a Tuesday or a Wednesday. Some middle-of-the-week night, the ordinary sort that feels vaguely undefined it you aren't the sort that holds down an ordinary, nine to five job.

No one in the house in Cap Hill is the sort to hold down an ordinary, nine to five job.

--

So, a Tuesday or a Wednesday some other -day that isn't quite specific, Elijah receives an invitation by text from Sera's consor. It is loose, really -

Having some people over. Why don't you drop by?

Dan's texts are sometime (tonight) quite precise. No text-speak. He spells out all the goddamned words and he spells them correctly. Dan was a fucking English major.

He did a Senior Thesis on Keats, thank-you-very-much.

--

There are almost always "people over" at Sera's house, particularly when Sera is around, because Sera attracts people the way the moon attracts luna moths. But even when Sera is not around, there are "people over," friends and acquaintances and customers and hangers-on of the rest of the housemates. Dee's roller derby team or fellow musicians, hipsters and record store clerks, the lawyer couple down the street still sort of holding on to their young-and-wild days because fuck it, shouldn't you hold on to your young and wild days for all the rest of your goddamned life?

Tonight's a low-key thing. There's music somewhere, someone playing an acoustic guitar inside. A pitcher of some sort of gin cocktail with blueberries and stems of rosemary on ice in the large white kitchen. Snacks, because such things accumulate, because Dee works in a bakery and loves to cook, because people who like to get stoned often like to eat while they are stoned.

Elijah will find Dan, eventually, out in the backyard, sprawled back in a pink plastic Adirondack chair with a bottle of beer in his right hand, looking at the stars. He's a tall guy, Dan, a bit sprawling, but not big. Not ripped. More sinew than muscle. Left hand scratching his beard a bit as he watches smoke from the chiminea spiral up toward the night sky.

Elijah

The English major texts the French major, though Elijah was so far away from having written a senior thesis that it just seems like a pipe dream. Whatever his thesis may be on, though, it probably wouldn't be Keats. When Elijah replies, it is in English. Sometimes, he doesn't reply to text messages in English, at least not at first, and then one can tell when he hasn't because it takes twice as long for the reply to come back.

Elijah responded in English, just as lacking in precision.

Sure! I'll swing by, see you in a bit--Elijah was content to come over, excited to see the other man and chill. Content to see the roller derby girls and Dee- Dee who blushes and it turns her a lovely shade of pink all over. Dee who was in the process of acquiring a cheerleader (Sorry, still looking for the flyaway skirt, he told her apologetically. Sincerely, like he'd meant it. He laughed anyway, because why not?) He came to the back, finally coming across Dan.

The young man was distinctly more dressed. Tee shirt, vest, ripped up jeans- not the kind you buy, but the kind that you abuse all to Hell because you love them and refuse to buy another pair and give up the ghost. Elijah plopped down next to him, not in a chair, though, adjacent to the chair.

"The fact that you can see the stars like this kinda makes me wish I didn't live in the city proper."

Dan

"This is the city proper," the older man returns, hand still on his beard but not hovering over his mouth a bit, the index finger, as he turns his head to glance down at Elijah in a manner that assuredly makes him appear - knowing maybe. Nearly sly.

There is a smirk beneath the skim of his hand, neatly hidden by his beard, and laughter rumbling below the edge of his voice. Not precisely hidden but: swallowed up. Contained, see? Embedded.

"It's just what happens when you have a back yard." He goes on, " - a few square feet of darkness lets you remember the sky and look the fuck up."

Breathes in, he does. Breathes out.

And looks the fuck up.

"Sera told me you were new enough you needed watching out for. She never told me how new, though."

Elijah

[Smoke and sky and wow- spirit 1. diff. 3+1 (sphere)=4]

Dice: 1 d10 TN4 (4) ( success x 2 ) [WP]

Elijah

He grins like the world is amazing. That grin is his constant companion, and it is the last look he gives Dan that is direct because there is the sound of summer in the air and he can smell smoke and his green eyes travel there instead. Wood and earth and something that burns on his senses. Something that makes him smile bright and for a second he almost seems serene before he seems delighted and the lung man closed his eyes, inhaling deep and exhaling some centering breath.

The air feels anything but calm. The beginnings of a disaster. There is movement, there is elation, there is that feeling before revolution and chaos, people associate the way Elijah feels with storms but it's more than that. Something intangible. He is the storm that brews in the hearts of men as much as anything else. He's young though. He's young and green and when he opens his eyes the stars are alive and bright.

The smile on his face almost seems innocent. Like he's seeing the first fireflies of the year.

but, there is a question to answer, and it doers bring his mind closer to reality. How new at this was he?

"It's kinda complicated," he said, "I… uh… ignored that Voice for over two years. I didn't… well, I thought I was crazy, because that makes sense, right? you hear voices, then you're crazy. I just recently met people who were… y'know… like Sera."

Elijah

[Ohfuck, nightmares, I forgot]

Dice: 4 d10 TN7 (1, 5, 5, 6) ( fail )

Dan

"Was it better being crazy?" Still lounging, the guitarist, loosejointed hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle of beer he's nursing, his voice quiet, and not particularly distinctive. Direct in its way,

but here, with the question, he casts a glance quite directly at Elijah, where the young mage sits on the damp and trampled grass, deep in the long shadows bathing the back garden, looking up at the sky. And there is a kind of sagacity to that look, though perhaps Elijah cannot see it, watching the night sky as he is, in the darkness. Seeing things that no one else can see.

"Or better being magic?"

Elijah

"I figured out I can be magic and crazy at the same time," Elijah admits, "but I prefer the magic... because god damn if this isn't beautiful."

He gestures to the sky and the backyard, but there is something in his tone, the way he gestures and seems to avoid something that isn't quite there that makes it clear that either Elijah is crazy or he really is seeing things that aren't there for everyone else.

Dan

"A lot of folks like you get labeled crazy. Defy consensual reality," a quiet rumble, not precisely an edge but the guy also knows what the fuck he's talking about. " - thoughtlessly because it doesn't work for you or deliberately because you've figured it all out and the jig is up too long and too hard and you or someone else is bound to notice.

"Sera doesn't talk about it, but she spend a lot of time in and hour of institutions when she was a teenager. Mostly rehab but - " A brief, surrendering sort of shrug, as he glances at Elijah's face, then looks back toward the sky,

where all he sees are stars,

wistful, maybe.

"Have you just fallen into a pattern of running into people?" Dan asks, tapping his index finger against the neck of the beer bottle thoughtfully. " - or has someone given you the whole spiel about the Traditions?"

Elijah

He has to come back to reality. He has to. he has to stop looking and splitting his attention between the worlds because he needs to focus on Dan but he just wants to keep looking. There are things he can feel in tone and he listens to Dan. The fact that he hadn't been looking at him made Elijah more aware of the finer details. He liked the sound of Dan's voice; that was centering. Centering like Jenn was centering. Centering like touching Alicia. Centering like Kalen- though who would have ever described Kalen Holliday as centering (more than you would think, actually.)

Dan is the voice of practical wisdom; Sera spent some time institutionalized and that was what snapped him back. That's what made him finally let go of that beautiful moment and come back to reality. It reminded him that the grass was damp and cool and when he looked at Dan, he was all somewhere between shadows and softness.

"I don't blame her," he said, "it… it fucking sucks. I hated it."

With such aching familiarity.

Had someone given him the Traditional spiel? He nodded, "yeah, Kalen's been teaching me some stuff… for awhile I was just running into the same people, but… it's more than coincidence, it's like magic is magnetic, all these people kind of just… pull in."

Dan

"Or fate. Or like seeks like. Or water seeks its own level, or something - "

because Dan, assuredly, had experience with that running in to the same people thing even if he does not really count as the same people to many (most) Awakened folks. His fingers lace lightly over the neck of the bottle again and he lifts it up to his mouth, tosses back a mouthful, and then another.

"I don't know Kalen very well. He's a Hermetic, right? You know what tradition we are?" Not Sera is, but we are.

Elijah

[Who all is included in this we business? Per_awareness)

Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (3, 4, 4, 7, 8, 10, 10) ( success x 4 )

Elijah

He nods an affirmative. yes, Kalen is a Hermetic. And then yes, again, he determined what Tradition they were, but not without a little bit of guess work. Elijah reached up and ran a hand through his hair. There are times that Elijah very much does not seem his age, but now is not one of those times. He was new at this, and he has to think. Sera said she was a seer, so...

"You're both Ecstatics?" because he doesn't refer to them as cultists.

Dan

"We are."

Dan rumbles, low. Casts Elijah a low-slung glance that seems to both take-him-in and take in everything-around-him. An equanimity to it, that lingers after in the shadow of a half-smile beneath his beard.

"What has Kalen told you about the Cult of Ecstasy?"

Elijah

Damned if he didn't have a voice that was enough to make Elijah's breath catch in his throat and he could listen to Dan talk for hours if the need be, and he almost wanted to see if he would because there was a manner about him that Elijah couldn't stop himself from wanting to take in and absorb the entirety of. Dan had a voice that could make the phone book sound like the most important thing one could say.

"That you guys deal with time- and that there's a huge emphasis on transcending boundaries," he said with a nod, "the rest I'm kinda drawing a blank on, sorry. He seems to think pretty highly of you, though."

Dan

"Somehow," Dan casts Elijah a flashing sort of grin, which just bisects his beard and shows teeth behind it. "I feel like you should be hearing this from somehow who has opened their eyes, so to speak," which also makes him shrug, a bit elegant, a bit dismissive, of the whole idea that his eyes are not open yet. " - but yeah. Ecstatics do more with Time than most other Awakened, and what they share - I suppose what we share - more than anything else is that surety that we are all one. Connected to the same continuum, part of a living - river, conduit, sea, whatever fucking metaphor you want to use - and that the boundaries between us - and not just us, but all of creation, right? - are a kind of inveterate falsehood that we can shed,

"again and again and again. Everyone has a different way of getting there. Some do it through denial, some through excess. Some both. That's the Cliff's Notes explanation."

Elijah

There was philosophy and Dan. He wasn't kidding, he really could listen to the man talk forever, he watches the curve of his lips, the flash of teeth that bisect his beard. Dan's eyes were open, yes, but not in the way that Elijah's eyes were open. Dan had a wisdom to him, a thrumming primordial something that hinted beneath the surface. Something ancient in its own right, and Elijah for his part was more than willing to take in whatever information he could and absorb everything. But there is a concept, an idea that they were all one.

If there were sleepers, and there were the awakened, Elijah supposed that Dan was almost like a lucid dreamer- someone who knew he was dreaming, but didn't wake up. Almost because he wasn't shaping the dream, but damned if he couldn't spot all of the lies therein. "So, that's... that makes sense. Us being all connected, I mean, there's that energy that we all have, that everything has, and we can feel it- if you can find a way to tap into that? Into everything?"

He laughs, laughs because the thought delights him. Laughs because his voice can't do anything but wear delight, "I… I always thought that knowing people, knowing their lives, feeling was… that it was important. That it's a key to understanding, that we aren't alone."

Elijah paused, "I don't know if that sounds weird or not."

Elijah

Dan listens, and he listens in a way that few people listen: in a way that feels whole and entire, that is both present and absent, immediate but without imposition. And he leans back a bit, stretches out his knees, a rough hand on either one, eyes on the sky. Elijah may have the sense of his halved smile, the way it skims in the darkness, rises and then - not precisely sets, but goes still again, to be subsumed beneath the architecture of his skin-and-bones.

So there's a kind of quiet around which Elijah's laughter wraps itself and a kind of quiet when Elijah pauses and a kind of quiet after, too, when Elijah remarks that he doesn't know if that sounds weird or not,

which makes Dan smile, rather kindly, all told, and flash another look down at Elijah.

"There's not one right answer, you know that, right?" That smile lingers, though it is slowly edging toward a grin. "There are seventeen million right answers, or maybe seven million, or however many people there are who believe in both the answers and the question. That's the point; but beneath that, it's up to you to find something, and someone, with answers that are pretty goddamned close to your own.

"That's the first step in figuring out all this shit.

"Or maybe, figuring out that there's no one else like you and your beliefs are strong enough that you are a-okay going it alone. That's the beauty of it, you know?

"The sheer fucking multiplicity.

"And of course that sounds weird. And at the same goddamned time, it doesn't sound weird at all. We're talking about people who shape and reshape the world with their fucking thoughts. With their Will.

"You're just figuring out the name for what it is you do and you can still do more with it than I can dream of."

Elijah

"I dunno, man, people can dream pretty damn big," he tells Dan.

Dan, the lucid dreaming man, the man who knows what it is for all of this to make sense. A man with answers, but without the ability to reach out and grab it. He was doing things with his will; Elijah was doing magic because he wanted to do magic. Because he wanted it. Because he wanted, more than anything, for something more than the mundane to be there. When it came down to it all, the smoke the movement the touch, the trappings, it was all because magic was going to happen because Elijah wanted it to happen. Focusing made it easier, giving something else, giving power to an action made it easier, but it wasn't strictly necessary.

"So.. what if you find more than one person who makes sense… It's okay that more than one person might make sense because… everyone's been really gung ho about explaining how personal all of this is," Elijah said.

He sighed, but the sound was joyful. The sound was pleased. The sound was one of contentment, "so how did you… like… how did you figure all of this stuff out? I don't think I've met people like you before… well… y'know to be honest up until a month or so ago I hadn't met anyone like Sera."

Dan

Dan listens, and he listens in a way that few people listen: in a way that feels whole and entire, that is both present and absent, immediate but without imposition. And he leans back a bit, stretches out his knees, a rough hand on either one, eyes on the sky. Elijah may have the sense of his halved smile, the way it skims in the darkness, rises and then - not precisely sets, but goes still again, to be subsumed beneath the architecture of his skin-and-bones.

So there's a kind of quiet around which Elijah's laughter wraps itself and a kind of quiet when Elijah pauses and a kind of quiet after, too, when Elijah remarks that he doesn't know if that sounds weird or not,

which makes Dan smile, rather kindly, all told, and flash another look down at Elijah.

"There's not one right answer, you know that, right?" That smile lingers, though it is slowly edging toward a grin. "There are seventeen million right answers, or maybe seven million, or however many people there are who believe in both the answers and the question. That's the point; but beneath that, it's up to you to find something, and someone, with answers that are pretty goddamned close to your own.

"That's the first step in figuring out all this shit.

"Or maybe, figuring out that there's no one else like you and your beliefs are strong enough that you are a-okay going it alone. That's the beauty of it, you know?

"The sheer fucking multiplicity.

"And of course that sounds weird. And at the same goddamned time, it doesn't sound weird at all. We're talking about people who shape and reshape the world with their fucking thoughts. With their Will.

"You're just figuring out the name for what it is you do and you can still do more with it than I can dream of."

Elijah

"I dunno, man, people can dream pretty damn big," he tells Dan.

Dan, the lucid dreaming man, the man who knows what it is for all of this to make sense. A man with answers, but without the ability to reach out and grab it. He was doing things with his will; Elijah was doing magic because he wanted to do magic. Because he wanted it. Because he wanted, more than anything, for something more than the mundane to be there. When it came down to it all, the smoke the movement the touch, the trappings, it was all because magic was going to happen because Elijah wanted it to happen. Focusing made it easier, giving something else, giving power to an action made it easier, but it wasn't strictly necessary.

"So.. what if you find more than one person who makes sense… It's okay that more than one person might make sense because… everyone's been really gung ho about explaining how personal all of this is," Elijah said.

He sighed, but the sound was joyful. The sound was pleased. The sound was one of contentment, "so how did you… like… how did you figure all of this stuff out? I don't think I've met people like you before… well… y'know to be honest up until a month or so ago I hadn't met anyone like Sera."

Dan

"It's not just whether or not more than one person makes sense. What matters is more than that: it's belief; it's the framework of your belief in the fucking world, you know. Religion's the easiest analogy. I know some people hate it but - a priest might be able to see the logic and the beauty and the faith behind the structure of another religion. A Catholic might understand and appreciate and respect the teaching of the Koran or the Talmud: but her god, the god she prays to, the god that moves her heart is neither.

"When I said: makes sense, I don't mean it in anything close to a casual way. I mean: makes sense in a fucking profound way. In a way that moves the world, and moves you to move the world around you."

And he breathes out, at that, laughing a bit at himself, mouth opening but only just. Picks up his beer and takes a swig and gives Elijah a look that is at once spare and direct.

"The guy I was seeing in college was an Ecstatic. We were together for a while, and Ecstatics tend to be a little more - open than most. We had friends and friends of friends. It didn't work out, but some things you can't really unlearn. And fuck it. I'm a musician and I'm a goddamned songwriter. I double-majored in philosophy and literature.

"I believed in this shit before I even knew about it. Unlimited human potential. The ever-expanding universe. The ongoing argument with the world, the constant interrogation of the nature of being. There are all different kinds of ways to open your eyes."

Elijah

[Can I invade your personal space? Awarepathy]

Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (1, 5, 6, 6, 9, 10, 10) ( success x 5 )

Dan

Dan is pretty open to touch. He does, after all, live with Serafíne, so he isn't exactly the standoffish sort. Right now, he's perhaps a bit charmed by Elijah but in a fairly neutral way. There's no real, uh, I'm interested in more than smoking a joint and waxing philosophic sense about him, he is assuredly not flirting with Elijah. He's just - in the moment and enjoying the moment he's in. So: no sense that Dan is interested in contact / invasion of personal space, but no sense that he's opposed, either.

Elijah

"So you'll know when it makes sense, when your world views line up and stuff because it is literally we see the world in the same light and not, oh cool, we both read the same books. And it's okay if what you see, the world around you and how you interface with it, isn't like anyone else… you don't have to try to fit?"

And why would you want to try to fit? It's your reality, your world, the way that everything see,s and feels. Elijah listens, takes in the story and the details. He doesn't bat an eye at the fact that Dan has dated men before because, well, so had Elijah. Frankly, Elijah had been contemplating whether or not he could invade Dan's personal space or if he would let him touch his beard- because damn he really, really wanted to because it looked soft and it was an act of self control that didn't have him

"The religion thing makes sense, though."

Dan

"Or you'll find something that fits, for a while, that makes sense to you, the way it shapes you and guides you, and then it won't make any sense, and you'll find something else. I don't know anyone, Sleeping or Awake, who stops evolving, whatever path their on."

A brief, supple grin.

"Change is the only constant and all that rot. You also need to think about power, and how you understand it, and how it understands you, and how you hold it and wield it and feel it so differently from all the rest of us, while remembering your goddamned kinship with the people you're leaving behind.

"It's a helluva lot to work through. That's another way religious analogies make sense. The disparity between the doctrine and the actions of the instituion. All the wars that get fought In Nomine Patris, so to speak.

"Fuck it. That's probably overkill. How old are you, anyway?"

Dan

Witness a roll!

Sera: freeing the nymph. Mind 3 / Prime 2. Vulgar Without Witnesses: Dif 7. -1 for focus.

Dice: 3 d10 TN6 (8, 9, 10) ( success x 4 ) [WP]

Dan

Extending! +1 difficulty, -1 for spending quint. So: 6 again.

Dice: 3 d10 TN6 (2, 4, 8) ( success x 2 ) [WP]

Elijah

"I'll be twenty in August," because that makes all the difference, you see, Elijah is young. Elijah is damnably young, unashamed of how young he is, but sometimes very much seems to be every bit as young as his years make him. Being committed in his teenaged years wasn't so far away because he was still technically a teenager. His memories are still fresh, which begs the question- how on earth did this young man find time to have the experiences he's had? Packed them all into a scant few years, remembered them so vividly and preciously because they were his experiences. Because they were part of his world and some of the few precious things that shape him.

"Why do you have to leave people behind, though? Just because they don't see things like… couldn't everyone, in theory, wake up to all of this? I mean, isn't there in some way a possibility that every person is capable? Why not take them with you?" a longing, perhaps, for a world he can't show people. A longing, perhaps, to seem sane when he talks about how beautiful to moon is or a place where no one bats an eye at how he can tell time without even opening that ubiquitous pocket watch.

A beat.

"You're not gonna get pissed that I'm shithoused, like, eighty percent of the time you see me, are you? Because I don't really intend on stopping."

Elijah

Witnessed

Dan

Now: Time 3. Dif: 7. +1 for time. -1 for focus. + WP.

Dice: 3 d10 TN7 (4, 8, 10) ( success x 3 ) [WP]

Dan

And, extending! +1 to extend, -1 for quint spent. + WP.

Dice: 3 d10 TN7 (1, 1, 4) ( success x 1 ) [WP]

Dan

One more time. One more quint (her last) and one more WP. Because.

Dice: 3 d10 TN7 (4, 8, 8) ( success x 3 ) [WP]

Elijah

[I witness everything!]

Dan

"You're talking," Dan tells Elijah, rather patiently, "about people who can change the world on a whim, with their will. You don't have to leave anyone behind. I don't actually think you fucking should. But look at the way the world works, the way power changes people. The way humans make tribes, and defend their goddamned tribes to the bitterest of final solutions.

"You're nineteen. You've got time to work on all this shit. We've all got time to work on all this shit, but you've got more power than most nineteen year olds will ever know or understand. Part of what you have to figure out is not just: how it works, but: how you use it, and - "

Here he actually laughs, a low thread of laughter that hums through his body and has him opening his mouth and tipping back his head and - and - breathing out.

"Have you actually met Sera? Somehow I think if you had, you wouldn't even be asking that question."

Elijah

"Sera is this ageless, eternal creature in my head to which the rules of damned near everything do not apply, be that societal or otherwise," he replied, and with that Elijah stood up and carefully- if permitted- took the beer bottle form Dan's hand and took a drink. He returned the beer to the other man and restated himself to where he wasn't necessarily facing Dan but he was making contact with him. Elijah took a perch between his legs, not suggestively, but there so that he could put his arms on his legs and enjoy the fact that there was human contact. Something to ground himself with.

Elijah thrived on contact, craved it, and having seen that this was a person who wasn't going to painc should he make contact with him at all, Elijah seemed more than content to do so.

"And good," Elijah replied with a cheeky grin on his face, "because I don't intend on stopping."

Dan

The older man smirks - mildly, but smirks - at Elijah's characterization of Sera, but that smirk recedes into a rather different sort of expression, one that exists in the middle distance. His eyes are a muddled sort of blue that goes to smoke and shadow in the darkness and they flick down at his hand, and Elijah's, as Dan reliquishes the beer bottle without comment or complaint.

Accepts it back without comment or complaint, as well.

Dan is equally unpertubed when Elijah takes up a seat between his legs, on the grass, cool in the night air, not precisely damp but one has that sense doesn't one, that dew should be forming as the temperature drops and the day's heat dissipates.

--

So it goes. Quiet really. Dan doesn't have a comeback to Elijah's cheeky grin or declared intent not to stop drinking, just another smirk, smaller this time, that settles itself into the shadow of his beard.

The night goes on. People come out, or they go in. Dan to grab another beer. Someone starts a fire in the chiminea and someone else starts a drinking game. There's a joint and then another to be passed about. And more than that, if one wants more. Dan's ex, Jeremy - everyone calls him Jer - comes by later. A hipster and a professor at DU (ADJUNCT) and a jazz musician and a solid few years older than even Dan, and their body language is close, flirtatious, even intimate, but Jer does not spend the night.

As parties at this house on Corona Street go, this one is subdued. There's a relaxed vibe, none of the rooms are crowded. People are mellow, more likely to lounge than dance, more likely to dance than fight. Food appears, disappears, people come and go.

No one tells anyone that they've had too many, but the housemates do confiscate keys once, pack a few people into taxis, find rides for others. Offer up couches, blankets, spare rooms when necessary.

Elijah is never precisely invited to spend the night in that house, but it is clear, wordlessly clear, that he's welcome.

Elijah

He liked the smirk almost as much as he enjoyed they contact. He looked out at the sky again and was content to just observe the world. It was hard to tell what he was looking at, or when he was thinking about. He doesn't know what a mess he is going to get himself into later. Doesn't know what he was about to ream about or what terrors would await him in the morning. No, right now he had to live. Live because tomorrow he would die and the cycle would begin anew. It would all come back as it is, as it always has been.

There is a sense of finality in that, and so Elijah was content to stare at the sky and not say anything to Dan beyond that. He was content to make conversation with people- because he liked people. Elijah thrived on those around him. He needed human contact about as badly as he needed oxygen, and depriving him of either would make the young man wither and die. Would be a true and steady death sentence.

Elijah is content to hand over his keys because he knows when he's had too much. AS far as parties go, this one was more subdued. He had moments of insight, moments of delight, moments where he found himself speaking French excitedly to some other francophile who had the unfortunateness of having read Le Petit Prince- Elijah could quote it lovingly, gingerly. He loved that book with all his heart.

And he was surprisingly well-versed in matters relating to paper and children's literature. Who would have guessed?

He passes out on the couch when his body finally gives way, and Elijah can't strain to keep himself awake any longer. There is a quiet dread, like a toddler resisting his nap or a condemned man going to the gallows or somewhere in between. Elijah knew what was coming, but he hung on to light, onto conversation, onto sensation just a little more.

For tomorrow, he would die. And the cycle would begin anew.

Dan

There's a green velvet couch in the living room - a bit worn - and a shaggy orange one in the music room, which is elsewhere in the house, up the stairs and across the strange little bridge that connects the house old three-story-plus-attic brick building with the second storey of the old detached garage out back that was maybe once a carriage house. Back when people had carriages.

--

Regardless: green velvet couch or shaggy orange couch in the music room on the hammock in the garden or whatever. After hours (and it does not run all night into the early hours of the morning. It's a Tuesday or a fucking Wednesday. Ordinary goddamned people have ordinary goddamned jobs), someone came skimming through, a preliminary clean-up. Glasses and cans into a bin to be rinsed and recycled. The big bottles too. Ashtrays (they confine the smoking usually to the back garden) emptied and stacked on a table outside but near to the glass sliders leading into the kitchen to be cleaned later. Left overs wrapped up and put away or scraped into the disposal or whatever. Just a few things that can be done while drunk or half-drunk or stoned or whatever, to make clean up in the morning that much more palatable.

--

Someone drapes a chenille blanket over him. The house is cool, air conditioned. Night slides on into morning.

Elijah

What does Elijah dream about?

What does he dream when no one is looking and his mind is left to its own devices?

It is no prophecy, no potential herald of what was to come like Kalen saw, but perhaps in the future, it was. Perhaps, this was the future, something wrapped up in nothingness that would birth the world again as it had time and time again and would until finally everything faded into the void and black nothingness from which all creation was destined to fade into. He does not dream of nothingness, of a blackness where creation is potential. No, Elijah dreams of the Void. The place where the darkest parts of ourselves live, a place like the abyss that was dark and eternal and all consuming.

It wanted.

Oh, how it wanted.

---

Elijah Poirot slept for nine and a half hours.

He didn't know at what point he started crying, started pleading, started begging for anything- good, bad-anything- to come back so long as it was something.

He then learned that he would regret this, and something brushed his shoulder across his collarbone, a caress of something ancient and withered and icy cold. Something that was unlike anything he had ever felt and his heart wanted to stop and he wanted to start screaming but the sound was gone. There was nothing.

---

When he opened his eyes, Elijah wouldn't get off the couch, instead he curled up under the chenille blanket and didn't say a word. Tear streaked and silent.

Dan

Housemates.

Plural.

--

Elijah's night terrors wake Dee, who wakes Dan, who tells her to go back to sleep. She's up again in a few hours anyway. The bakery opens early, after all. Rick leaves the house a few hours later, headed off to his liberal-arts-degree job in an upscale toystore out by Cherry Creek. If anyone else crashed last night, they're gone too by 8 or 9 a.m.

--

When Elijah wakes, Dan is in the room. Drowsing in a deep seated reading chair covered in a plush, patterned faux-velvet, an antique afghan half tossed over his body, wearing boxers and a Pixies t-shirt.

He hasn't slept much, Dan. Didn't know whether or not to wake Elijah, so he defaulted to no. But he sat there, or slept there, drowsing when he could. Skinny as he is, Dan is a tall guy, long-limbed so he folds rather awkwardly into that armchair, which Sera can curl herself into without a second thought.

Dan stirs, senses movement even in his sleep, and his sleep is light, anyway. Fitful. He wakes a moment later, with a deep inhale and rises, rubbing a spare hand over his face and beard, stretching, yawning, scratching lightly at his stomach. All the things one does when one wakes up.

In that moment, he glances at Elijah - a spare look, which is knit together with a subdued compassion - then heads into the kitchen.

He returns a few minutes later with a tray. A French press full of really fucking good coffee, the aroma sharp and savory in the room. Pours himself a mug, then pours Elijah one, and the first thing he says is,

"Cream or sugar?"

Elijah

Cream or sugar?

It's the cue that he has to sit up. It's the cue that he has to sit up and make his body work and make his head stop swimming and his hands stop shaking and he can only do one of those things so Elijah chooses to sit up. To fake composure. His hair is sticking up, a mess of blond strands and tangles. When he looks at Dan, he smiles, but his gaze is miles away. Not like he is present in this world or the net, but rather trying to forget that he can exist in all of them.

"Cream please, no sugar," which was a sign something was wrong because Elijah lived off of sugar, "it smells too good to doctor up too much."

There are times he seems his age, and this is one of those times. Hands on the edge of the couch, gripped like the fabric may fly away from him if he let go. There's an odd silence.

"… I didn't freak anyone out, did I?"

Dan

So, somehow Dan is seated on the coffee table. It is a solid wood piece, nothing particle board, nothing plastic. That's the thing about this house, which feels both new and vibrant and lived in. Half the furniture has this vintage-I-got-it-at-a-spendy-thrift store. The rest is just: old, solid, well-made, antique or at least: from a time when people bought furniture for a lifetime from stores that sold things made in America.

Seated on the coffee table beside the coffee tray. Dan adds cream to Elijah's coffee and hands over the mug.

Listen, when things go wrong, sometimes you just need the motions to remind you that you are human, that the worst night of your life turns into the worst day of your life turns into another night that may not be as bad as the last one, and so on until you can remember to be normal again.

Reserved compassion, that is what lingers in the older man's eyes as he watches Elijah. It is not especially demonstrative but: he's right there.

And he shrugs in answer to Elijah's question, picking up his own mug. "I don't know. You might've, but people who live here've been through some weird shit, so they won't hold it against you.

"You wanna talk? Or just, decompress."

Elijah

Seated on the coffee table beside the coffee tray. Dan adds cream to Elijah's coffee and hands over the mug.

He takes the mug into his hands and holds it. He doesn't drink it, but he holds it, because it feels good o have something sitting there and he wants to think about the sensation of it in his palms. His smile turns gentle and, for a second, those trembling fingertips are put to use and he brings the mug to his lips.

Takes a drink, but only finds French press and note he waters of lethe. He would rather not forget, though. No matter how horrible something may be, Elijah wanted to remember.

Does he wanna talk?

"Yeah," yeah I kinda… I wanna talk." he said with a nod. "Do you ever think about Nothing- like, a complete absence of everything."

There is a capital in his voice, something beyond just simple nothing and going into something primal and large. Something vast and dark and over reaching. The mention of it makes Elijah hold his coffee cup a little tighter.

Dan

"Not," the older man replies - quietly. There's a modicum of a sort of gallows humor in his voice. This quick slip of his mouth that rises and then passes just easily. "on what you'd call a routine basis. Which I say because I figure you aren't talking about existensialism or Hegel or John the Scot or Aristotle."

He takes a sip of his own coffee.

"Is that what you dream about?"

Elijah

They weren't talking about existentialism, though thoughts and dreams of John the Scot or Aristotle seem enough to make Elijah laugh. It's a small sound, but he always laughed easily, even if he didn't quite feel like doing much else.

Elijah traced the top of the coffee mug. His thoughts wander.

Is that what you dream about?

"When it's bad," he says, "sometimes it's what happened, what could have happened, but it always leaves and it's all replaced with Nothing. A-and if I were more poetic or maybe a little more fucked up I would think it was beautiful, but there's nothing beautiful about it. I just remember wanting something to come back- some sight, some sound, some sensation instead of that.

"Tonight, something did come back… or… or maybe it was always there, but whatever it-" he falters here "-I don't want to know what it was. I've never not wanted to know something more in my entire life. I screamed, I cried, I begged but the only sensation that existed was knowing that I was alone with something that chose that place. A-and I'm afraid to blink, I'm afraid to rest, I'm-" he laughed, though the sound was closer to hysterics "-it'll all go away again. It all goes away."

Dan

Dan gives Elijah a degree of privacy when the younger man confesses his dreams. His nightmares. His fears. He's looking away, mug in hand, blue eyes cutting to the fireplace, but for all that it is clear - still - that he is listening, closely. When Elijah falters Dan glances back, gaze shifting over Elijah's features as if he is sifting for clues about how bad this particular stumble is.

"What do you mean what happened, or what could have happened?" A request for clarification, or perhaps he is like a physician in that moment, lancing the boil to get the poison out. Then, a moment later, "You have nightmares like that every night?"

Elijah

He was afforded some privacy until he faltered, but once he did Elijah had to stumble to come back. For a moment, he was there, he was off wherever it was his mind insisted he be in that dream, and there were things he desperately, desperately didn't want to say lest they happen again. Lest he tempt whatever being he'd dreamt of the night before

"Like… sometimes, it starts off with when I awakened… like, what if I had grabbed my friend's hand? What if I pulled her in while I was drowning? Sometimes, i-it's about the hospital and staying," the mention of the hospital makes him wary, makes him nervous, makes him feel small and lost because his mind hadn't been his own there. He is afforded some privacy. "And yeah… it's… some nights aren't like this, though, it's not always so bad-" he tries to insist, tries to assure Dan, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

It is always that bad, just some nights he can deal.

Dan

an sighs. The sound is quiet but not disappointed and not reassured and certainly: not defeated. It's just a sigh, empathy and a kind of weariness that is not directed at Elijah or related to him. He isn't reassured, no, but he doesn't really need reassurance. People in the world he inhabits have been through shit. They can move mountains with their goddamned minds and they live through pain and he lives through it with them.

They still live. Right?

Right.

"Times like this," Dan says, with a crooked sort of something shaping his mouth. "I wish I had magic. Calm you down sometimes, help you sleep. You might feel weird about asking, but you shouldn't, and I'm probably going to tell her anyway, you should know. So if you need a solid, restful night - just talk to her. She'll give you a hand.

"Maybe there are others who could. I know Jim probably could.

"But I don't have that. I can't take it out of you and I'm sorry about that, but I figure sitting here is probably the worst thing in the world for you, right now. When you're still, all you are is a mind. When you're moving, well. You've got a shot at being just in your body, don't you?

"Wanna go for a hike?"

Elijah

Does he want to go for a hike? there is a thought, a thought that goes neither here nor there, but Elijah wonders for a moment- would he like to go on a hike. Truthfully, Elijah hadn't hiked in-

"Yeah, I'd like that. Don't I need, like, special clothes and stuff?"

- Ever, actually. Elijah has never been on a hike in the history of ever. He can count on one hand the number of times he's been camping, the number of times he's been out into the splendor of nature. Elijah and nature, truth be told, didn't always mix. Not for a lack of desire, but rather, because Elijah was never entirely certain as to what sounds he was hearing in the middle of the night. His imagination was active, though if they were moving Dan had a point. Maybe... maybe he could just be a body.

Dan

"Hiking is like walking, except you do it out in nature and generally uphill," Dan returns, with a quiet sort of smirk. "I won't take you rock climbing, I promise. If you don't have hiking boots, sneakers will absolutely work.

"We can go as far as you like. Denver's a pretty good place for a helluva lot of outdoors type stuff.

"We could go to any number of state parks. Or, if you're concerned about being around too many strangers after a night like that, I have another thought, too."

Elijah

"I've never done outdoorsy stuff," he admits with absolutely zero shame. It was something that he could focus on, and his thoughts traveled somewhere that was less off settling and more natural. More organic. Elijah, for his part, had his attention on Dan.

There could be a healthy distraction at that juncture, and when the man mentions another option his brows raise and his posture straightens and, like a puppy, he cocks his head ever so slightly to he side. "Whatcha thinking?"

Dan

"Sera's rented this cabin for the summer, up in the mountains. It's a place with a bit of history, but nothing you'd need to worry about. There's hiking up there, too - and it's not open to the public so you're less likely to run into gaggles of tourists the way you would out at Roxborough or someplace like that.

"Or," a supple shrug, offered thoughtlessly, mug still in his had but a bit forgotten for the nonce. "There's the chantry. Have you been there?"

Elijah

"The chantry?" he asks for confirmation, and Elijah nods as if this was the most normal of things, "Kalen took me there, I crashed out a couple times over on their couch... okay, more than a couple."

He doesn't mention if he woke up crying or if he screamed or if he wast hinking about how the walls seemed smaller and the outside seemed darker and the room was starting to feel quiet, oh god, oh heaven, please and-

Exhale.

It isn't real.

Inhale.

This is real.

Elijah closes his eyes tightly, and he mulls over his options before, "what kind of history? It's not, like, triple homicide might he... ya know, even if it is haunted, that could be cool. Can we go there?"

Dan

"Like most places with history," Dan remarks, eyes steady on Elijah, crinkled at the edges as they search the younger man's countenance, take in the momentary ticks, the flotsam and jetsam that surface. The history that is not mentioned: all the many ways in which he wakes from the dreams that will not leave him.

The breathing, the exhortation Elijah gives himself to breathe, the steady familiarity of that exhortation. Exhale, inhale.

The goddamned rhythm of it. The fucking ritual.

Yeah, Dan can readh that in him too.

" - it's good and it's bad, and it doesn't really matter to you right now. You get to write your own story of the place. C'mon."

And so saying, Dan heaves himself up, a faint popping of joints from sitting too long on a too hard surface. He rubs a hand over his beard, then picks up the coffee cup and heads into the kitchen.

--

Elijah is given more coffee in a stainless steel travel mug with the name of a bar in Pocatello, Idaho on it. Breakfast to take with in the car: homemade English muffin sandwiched around local sausage with a gently cooked and folded egg and a local farmer's cheese if he eats meat. Sprouted seven-grain bread and vegemite if he does not.

--

A bit of a delay in there, too. Dan makes some calls, out of Elijah's hearing. Rearranges his schedule. Begs off from some commitment and makes new arrangements for some other meet-up and checks in with the housemates, too. Still, it doesn't take that long to get ready, and unless Elijah is depserate for a shower and a pedicure, they're on the road within twenty minutes.

It takes longer than that to get out of town, but at least they are driving against the flow of morning traffic, watching late morning commuters stream in the opposite way. Eventually, they leave the four-lane highways behind, and start climbing through the front range of the Rocky Mountains. An isolated road turns off onto and even-more isolated road, and so on until they pull up a gravel driveway.

The cabin is... rustic, to put it politely. It looks like something thrown up by the park service in the 1970s: cannot have more than one bedroom, and nothing about it seems contemporary or fucking modern. Firewood stacked outside, well away from the stairs leading up to the deck, and a ring of seond and third-hand lawn furniture beneath the hanging branches of scrubby pines surround a stone-circled firepit. And on and on.

Dan kills the engine and exhales and shoots Elijah a glance and says, "Here we are," as the engine of the old jeep he drove up here ticks quietly beneath its hood. "C'mon." He goes on, climbing out of the car.

Elijah

He gets to write his own history of the place. He gets to think of it as somewhere not where something horrible happened, but where he went when he needed somewhere else to go. When he needed somewhere that he could breathe deep and steady and sure of himself and force the world back into his lungs and the taste of coffee could follow him along.

Elijah followed Dan into the kitchen.

---

Elijah Poirot does, in fact, eat meat. And is more than happy to have breakfast in the car

--

Elijah spends his time on the couch. He starts in a sitting position, waiting and occasionally checking his phone- he calls out sick to work on account of being crazy. His work understands, if only because he is a student worker with a History and they're forgiving of the fact that they don't want to potentially get sued for firing the schizophrenic guy for taking off on account of having an episode. If Elijah ever mentions anything about the medication he doesn't take or the things he's heard the young man's manager is quick to let him do whatever necessary just to shut him up.

Other than the fact that he was batshit insane Elijah Poirot was a good worker and a personable employee.

He gets in the car with little fanfare, and on more than one occasion Elijah's grip goes white and his breathing hitches and he tries, desperately tries, to rem ind himself of where he is. To his credit, he didn't ask Dan to pull over once, though he did spend most of the drive with his eyes closed. A shame, really, because ELijah suspected the view was beautiful, and if he could convince himself that the world would still be there and that the cold on his skin was just the air conditioner then he would certainly be fine.

He would be fine.

Everything would be fine. There was a world out there, more beautiful and terrible than Elijah could imagine and he was given a life to experience all of it. How much more wonderful could things get.

---

The first thing Elijah does when he gets out of the car was gasp. He inhales sharp and took in the air. When he turned back to Dan, his eyes were alight and alive and bright. Something delighted by the sheer beauty of it all. This was nature, this was what he had been missing. The younger man wandered out, hand grazing some nearby tree and brushing over the bark.

"Ohhh, is this what summer camp is like?"

Dan

Hard to credit those swings in mood. Or see them or live right alongside them: the terror, the live-wire tension in the car, the nightmares-made-real that make Elijah's skin all white and something about his gaze edge toward the sickly and then,

out here,

this sudden joy. The delight.

Dan's rather stoic in the face of all of that. He lives with an ecstatic, after all. He fucking knows this shit like the back of his hand, like the branching veins in his body, the way they spread out from some central point when you are too high to fucking move and the earth is starting to take root in you. And he's sliding out of the driver's door and shouldering a small day pack he packed earlier and glancing around and listening to the silence and he doesn't look especially outdoorsy, in his skinny jeans and tattooes and Pixies t-shirt and - well, he does have hiking boots on - but whatever.

He seems comfortable here.

He's all familiar with the measure of silence.

"Summer camp has more panty raids and shittier food. So I'm told. I went to jazz camp on the campus of Carlisle College in Dickinson, Pennsylvania, not color war camp, so what the fuck do I know."

A quick survey of their surroundings, inhaling the pineneedle scent.

"Bathroom's inside if you need it. If not, I figure we can start with up.

"It's harder than down."

That, my friends, was a joke.

Elijah

"Oh thank God," and immediately inside with him for the restroom.

Elijah returns a good five minutes later.

"O-kay, let's go commune with nature, into the fray!" because nature, you see, was very clearly the fray today, "what do you play? I mean, I've heard you play before, but what else do you play?"

Dan

"Guitar. Bass. Mandolin. Banjo - " a smirk, here. Quick and sure. Elijah wants to commune with nature so Dan sets off, fairly sure-footed, confident enough to be familiar with the area, at a pace that is quick enough to get one's heart rate up, to require less thought and more action and this is also deliberate, see. It is the only magic he knows. "Pretty much anything with strings. A few things without. Piano. The odd woodwind, from the jazz camp days."

The first obstacle they reach is a bounder-strewn stream, swift-running and dark with tannins from the piney woods all around. Lower than it might be earlier in the spring - but Dan's familiar with this too. Knows just where to find stepping stones across its widest (and, therefore shallowest) point and leads them across, into the woods on the otherside, dappled sunlight drifting through the pine branches.

"What about you? Play anything?"

Elijah

"Eh, piano has strings, but I don't know what family that goes it… I think it's technically a percussive instrument? Because of the hammers and shit," he said, because apparently Elijah knew something about the piano. Something, yes, because-

Does he play anything?

"Piano," he replied nonchalantly. There wasn't terribly much pride there, or shame, but he does continue on, eyes playing across the little patches of light and dark and the shapes they made on the trees. He makes his way across the stream, lingering for a second in the middle with a smile on his face. The whole place smelled like pine and he couldn't help himself. couldn't keep from smiling that smile that came too easily, but continued on when he realized he couldn't stand in the stream on the stones forever.

No, just long enough, precisely as he had intended.

"When I was in fourth grade, my mom was looking for something that would even me out? So I played piano. I'm not, like, any good but I can work my way around a keyboard. And a harp, but seriously, it never comes up."

Dan

"We'll play together sometime,' Dan remarks, tossing another smirk over his shoulder. They're over the stream by now and - yes - climbing. "I'm curious to see how you'll work a harp solo into a cover of I wanna be sedated."

--

Dan is as good as his word. They climb. The scenery changes, the further they get from the stream. The piney woods becomes more sparse, opens up into meadowlands, studded here and there with ribs of rock over which they have to scramble. Here and there are poorly maintained trails marked by the odd blue or yellow blaze. As they climb, the sun rises. They encounter no one else, although at one point they cross a blacktopped road with no shoulder, curving around the slope they are climbing. Like everything else, it is deserted.

The sun and the exertion conspire to make small talk less appealing, less needful, less necessary. They hike until Dan's t-shirt clings to his spine, damp with his sweat, until - perhaps - Elijah remembers that the world is real, because it is only measured by his heartbeat and he can feel his heart pounding in his chest. His heartbeat and the beating of the sun down on everything. By mid-afternoon they have gained a ridge high enough over the treeline to give them a view. Not a soaring view, the world made small, but a view nonetheless. They eat up there - simple food. Protein bars and a bag of fresh cherries. Sandwiches Dan threw together back at the house. A bag of chili-cheese fritos and some slightly-melted GORP.

Down is easier than up, but still has plenty to occupy the body so that the body occupies the mind, and Dan keeps the conversation light, when there is conversation, or listens - quietly, thoughtfully - if Elijah wants or needs something else out of any interaction. It is a long goddamned day and at the end of it Dan grills some steaks he left thawing in the fridge while they went higher, slices up some day-old baguette to mark garlic toasts. Digs out some chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and a bottle of whiskey for Elijah, which they can eat around a small fire Dan cultivates in the fire ring.

They do not spend the night.

But by the time Dan drops Elijah off at the younger man's apartment, he has probably had enough sun and exercise, food and whiskey, that his body will want to sleep, insist that he sleep, drag him down into sleep the minute his head hits the pillow, no matter what his mind says.